She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i just sent this text using only my big toe
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
