You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I need to sanitize my soul.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
