Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
