I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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