and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
