I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
