I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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