Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
