JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Randomize
