omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
