Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
