I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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