i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Vodka?
Forever.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
