Porn is love you can see.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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