i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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