it hurts more in the daytime
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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