i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
