did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
