this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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