The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
