If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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