you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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