Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
