the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
