Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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