just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
