what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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