I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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