Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
