Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
