i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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