Dual....:-)
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
