Swine flu. Run for my life!
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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