Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
