Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
