who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
