Sry I called you an 8
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Randomize
