I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
