If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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