well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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