It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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