Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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