idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
