You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
