You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
