YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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