Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
