i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
