did you get engaged???
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
