wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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