The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I am available for nakedness
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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