I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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