I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
