Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
two words: eviction party
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I had to cum in my sink.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
