yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
