Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
